stay gold.

devon leigh ❤ ☮

"to have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see."

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I’m really trying here.. just everything when you’re younger makes sense, or at least it doesn’t have to make sense. no one is there asking you why you went & jumped in mud puddles, you did it because it was fun. now you go & do something because it makes you happy (at least for a little while) & people everywhere are hurt or offended asking you why you do the things you do. i guess what i am trying to say that i am tired of trying to please everyone, i am tired of trying to make make everyone else happy & putting myself last. because all that really does is hurt me, & i have been ok with that because it means that other people are ok… but right now it just sucks. i like him ok, i really really like him & i have put it off for a really long time because i knew people would have a problem with it. i did everything in my power to avoid it. hell i won’t even look at the kid, i can’t even look him in the eye. that’s how much i try & avoid him. because i know that as soon as we lock eyes every emotion i have runs through my veins. the truth? i’m not ok. & i haven’t been for a while. I am just really good at hiding it. i dont want to hide any more. so i like him. & i know my best friend likes him too. i’m really trying to be a good person. but the thing is i don’t want to be. i want to be that person that isn’t afraid to lose anything. because really what am i ever going to gain if i never risk anything. so i like you, ok? i like you & even though i ignore you & dont look you in the eye, i really want to. i want to feel the way i do when i am near you every day. i want to talk to you, i want to know you, i want to kiss you. god, i want to kiss you. it really is amazing. it’s breathtaking. i can’t help it, i’m a moth to a flame.

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